“Even with Perfect Weather and Clear Skies, a Family Outing Can Quickly Turn Sour”
The Reality Behind Picture-Perfect Family Outings: A Candid Look
SLOUGH, ENGLAND: Greetings, fellow parents. Are you feeling disheartened by the seemingly effortless parenting displayed online? Do you find yourself envious of those perfect family holiday photos from celebrities, wishing your own family vacations were as magical and less chaotic? If so, this article is for you. (I’m assuming mostly mothers are reading this, as research suggests fathers are as interested in parenting trends as baboons are in solving quadratic equations.)
Dear mothers, it’s essential to understand that the idyllic family holidays showcased on social media might look flawless, but they are often from a different reality. The families behind these posts are likely from a distant realm where everything always goes smoothly.
The Myth of the Perfect Holiday
“Just got back from our vacation, and I’m not sure I want to take these people anywhere ever again,” says Hiba, a London mother with two young children who dreamed of a flawless Instagram-worthy holiday. By “these people,” she refers to her own children, and by “holiday,” she means the beautiful beach resort in Turkey she meticulously planned. Her children, who are obsessed with Paw Patrol, seemed indifferent to the dream vacation.
“All the boys wanted was to watch Paw Patrol wherever we went,” she laments. “Why did we bother flying if all they wanted was Paw Patrol?”
This question has troubled many parents for ages. One mother shows a photo of her smiling children on a sunlit beach but reveals that she had to bribe them with chocolate just to get them to stand together for the picture.
Social media parents rarely admit to these behind-the-scenes struggles. Many portray their outings as picture-perfect without revealing the tantrums and bribes involved. “I see so many parents posting lovely photos of their days out, but my kids just bicker everywhere we go,” says Shazia, a teacher from Reading, who experienced a disappointing holiday despite her best efforts. “It either rains, it’s too hot, the kids don’t enjoy the activities, or they just want to go home. Why can’t we have a good time like everyone else?”
To help manage your expectations, here’s a more realistic depiction of a family day out. Using London as an example, feel free to replace it with your own location.
What a Real Family Outing Looks Like
First, announce to your children—First-Born, Second-Born, Third-Born—that you’ll be spending the day in London. Ignore their disinterested reactions.
Book tickets for a museum and brace yourself for their groans. Arrive to find a line longer than the distance the Proclaimers would walk. Deciding the museum is no longer feasible, head to Covent Garden instead, tuning out the children’s complaints about wanting to go home. Take a hurried family selfie outside the museum, reminding everyone to smile for the camera.
Board a train to Covent Garden only to discover it’s been shut down due to trespassers. Spend hours finding a bus with enough seats, while pointing out landmarks to Third-Born, who would rather visit a cake shop instead of Covent Garden.
Upon reaching Covent Garden, remember that one child is terrified of pigeons, and Covent Garden is teeming with them. Distract the children with overpriced ice cream to stop the complaints about pigeons and the boredom of Covent Garden.
Despite the pigeons causing Second-Born’s ice cream to fall, remind yourself that pigeons, once used as messengers, must have some redeeming qualities.
Return home with the obligatory teenage martyr face from First-Born and Second-Born’s complaints about life’s unfairness. Tune out Third-Born’s whining about not visiting a cake shop. Review the one photo you managed to take, only to find your eyes were closed. Delete it immediately and resolve to avoid Instagram for a while.